we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
