Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
