wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
