So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Who died my cat blue again?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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