Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
