She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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