you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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