You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
