i think i have herpe
just one?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i've created a new STD.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
