we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
