omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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