put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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