Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
