she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
