Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
