Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
