i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
