i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
