Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Houston, we have a squirter
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
