Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
