Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
