There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
