so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
