Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
