You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
