The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
