see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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