Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
