I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
