Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
