How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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