Actions speak louder than pants.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
