Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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