No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
