Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
