At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
