Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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