no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
