and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
