My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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