Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize