thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I love having hate sex.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
