I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
