I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
