new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
