Soap is not a condiment
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
