wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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