Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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