Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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