So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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